太陽下山了.我要回家了.29C
我實在是太溫室小花了,讓我放出去的話,我應該會死得很慘.就是兩件小小的事情,讓我發覺我應該應付不了生命中的無常和突如其來的巨變.
昨日看完了冬冬的惡夢後,昨晚我便做了一個更大吉利是的'惡夢.夢見的景象完了,我夢見自己哭醒了(因為看到我自己的床和房間,可是真醒過來後臉沒有一丁點的濕呀),滿臉淚痕,心有餘悸的.醒過來後,心還是怦怦跳的.然後,我在想,如果夢見的事情有一天真發生了(其實,是會發生的.只是不會發生得這麼突然!),我想大概我也隻會像在夢中一樣手足無措.畢竟我其實是很沒用的,人家看得到的硬朗只是假裝的罷了.
然後,剛才聽到了驗血報告,雖然不是嚴重的毛病,可是那讀數之高遠遠超出我所預計.聽完之後,甚麼心情都沒了.連想去西藏的那把火都熄得無影無蹤.第一個給醫生的反應就是:「我對這個結果很doubtful啊!」
才那麼小事情,可是我一下子就已經跳去了denial這個階段了.如果要是告訴我的,是我得了甚麼絕症的話,我不是要當場暈死過去了嗎?
我...
好像自中學畢業之後一直都沒長大過.起碼思想上好像沒有.而且,還有倒退現象.
太不像話了.
能當溫室小花是種福份，該珍惜現在享有的，然後學懂作最壞的打算。
ReplyDelete警告妳四妹, 妳唔回應喎喎唔再留言 ar ha!
ReplyDeleteI is serious!
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喂, 發夢 oD嘢, 相反 ga! 真 ga! 唔信下阿大!
au3: i think i should have learnt by now. aii...
ReplyDeleteDin2: i didn't reply you?! when?? sorry ha! ^_~
haha.. i don't really believe in dreams as in what they are implying because i don't understand them. but i think they reflect my minds/receptions during the day. but the feeling of having a nightmare is NOT good! (and i didn't know it's contagious...)
what's more, it just makes me realize that i can't take on bad news at all. >_<~
I don't really think there's anything wrong w/ not growing up.
ReplyDeleteLook at the "grown-ups" around you, don't you think they seem boring?
好多時自己既反應都嚇親自己. 十一月公司一個做左十年既同事突然被lay off, 佢好忿怒, 完全接受唔到. 我都嚇左成日, 然後竟然兩晚瞓唔著, 都唔係我無左分工, 但竟然會咁大壓力. 所以好似3話齋, 有時都要作最壞打算. 我個人較灰, 或者過去十年經歷好多人生不如意及突如其來既事, accident對我黎講唔係陌生...
ReplyDelete無嚇親你嘛?
take care.
sandee: haha... but still need to grown up in a certain way. the "grown-ups" around us? maybe they just grew on the outside... the inside? who knows ;)
ReplyDeleteMD: 無嚇親!自己不用經歷可是想想同樣事情可以發生在自己身上時,當然也會一身冷汗,感同身受.
我想是我們比較幸運,活到現在(不是說你老哦!)才要去經歷"人生不如意及突如其來既事".有些人可能自小或自出生已經要面對,所以我覺得我現在還活在溫室裏,有點說不過去.而且,潛意識裏還是不太願走出去...